Badass Choices
When you stand at the crossroads of life, ask yourself: Are you choosing the path of convenience or genuine growth?
In a world riddled with convenience and instant gratification, it is exceptional to come across individuals who regularly make tough decisions, consciously bypassing the easier route. What are the underlying cognitive and emotional processes facilitating such choices? By exploring fundamental questions like "What am I afraid of?" and "Who am I really doing this for?" we uncover the internal and external motivations that drive certain individuals to choose the path less traveled.
BADASS CHOICE
The concept of a “Badass Choice” is rooted in our evolutionary history. From hunting mammoths to choosing between food and shelter, our ancestors often made decisions that prioritized long-term benefits over immediate relief. Today, the choices may not be about survival, but they continue to define character and purpose.
My chance to make a defining, tough choice emerged following Frank’s motocross accident on September 15, 1990. The words from the emergency room physician still echo in my mind: "He broke his neck. The break is severe. He will never walk again."
WHAT AM I AFRAID OF?
Fear is a primary motivator in decision-making. However, for those who lean towards Badass Choices, fear acts as a compass rather than a deterrent. We acknowledge our fears – failure, judgment, or the unknown – and use them to indicate areas in our lives that require growth. By facing our fears head-on, we often find immense personal reward and development.
Six months after Frank’s accident, I found myself at a pivotal crossroads, fear nudging me to flee from the overwhelming weight of what loomed ahead. Could I really find the strength to take on such a monumental task? Could I bear the weight of this burden on my shoulders? A host of realistic fears confronted me.
DOES THIS FULFILL MY PURPOSE?
Purpose-driven individuals tend to make decisions that align with broader life goals and values. Instead of being swayed by momentary pleasures or conveniences, we ask, "Does this choice lead me closer to my purpose or divert me from it?" A clear understanding of one's purpose can act as confirmation for making choices, even when they're challenging.
I pondered the responsibility of caring for Frank alongside meeting the needs of my young daughter. Could I juggle the demands of attending to a disabled individual while being a devoted parent? Was this the path meant for me? In a moment of sincere prayer, divine guidance made it clear: Frank needed me, and a higher power in this endeavor would support me.
WHO AM I REALLY DOING THIS FOR?
External validation, while tempting, often leads to decisions that don't align with one's true self. Individuals who make Badass Choices often introspect on whom our decision will serve. Is it for societal validation, to please someone else, or is it genuinely for myself? Those who make tough choices often do so from a place of authenticity, disregarding the weight of external expectations.
Despite recommendations from friends, family, and even healthcare experts to distance myself from Frank, thinking the stress would overwhelm our relationship, I opted to stand by him. Deep down, I felt an unwavering conviction that it was the right course of action.
DOES THIS DECISION HELP ME GROW?
Growth-oriented individuals constantly seek experiences that push us out of our comfort zone. We prioritize personal development over ease or comfort. When faced with a decision, we evaluate the growth potential. If a challenging choice offers more room for personal or professional growth, we tend to gravitate towards it, even when accompanied by temporary discomfort.
Facing challenges has never daunted me, and this situation presented the ultimate test. While I recognized the difficulty ahead, I was confident that the rewards would justify the struggle. Fueled by stubborn determination and true love, I embraced the challenge, knowing it would shape me into a better individual.
WILL I REGRET NOT DOING THIS?
The concept of regret is a powerful motivator. Those of us prone to making Badass Choices often project ourselves into the future, contemplating potential regrets. We weigh the temporary discomfort of a tough decision against the long-term remorse of not taking a chance. This foresight can be a driving force behind choosing the more challenging path.
The apprehension of future regret was a powerful influence on my choice to remain by Frank's side. Should the day come when he could walk once more, I yearned to share in that momentous celebration with him. I looked forward to being the first to experience the warmth of his joyful embrace.
CONTEMPLATION
If life presents you with a decision so difficult you feel you cannot decide, keep these things in mind and make the brave, Badass Choice.
Reflect on the paths of convenience versus challenge.
Ask yourself about the true motives behind your choices.
Consider the long-term growth over short-term gratification.
Determine if you're being swayed by external pressures or your authentic desires.
And dare to take the path less traveled.
Micki Jean LaVres is a writer, certified Reiki master, and a dedicated caregiver to her husband for 33 years following his spinal cord injury. In her upcoming memoir, she weaves a story of love, tragedy, and resilience, offering readers hope and life lessons. Micki believes that life is a soul-searching journey, and the key to facing fear is acceptance. Her daily self-care includes exercise, meditation, reading and writing. For more insights, visit her website for information on her upcoming book and follow her blog, Badass Superhero Caregiver.
References:
[1] Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The power of passion and perseverance. Scribner.
[2] Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, cognition and personality, 9(3), 185-211.
[3] Dweck, C. S. (2008). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House Digital, Inc.
[4] Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of general psychology, 5(4), 323-370.